Monday, July 4, 2011

25 Things I Love About My Ham Sandwich

In light of some of the comments posted in response to a recent news article featuring this and 2 other expat blogs, I'd like to take a moment to tell you how much I love my ham sandwich. Yes, that's right, after being called a narcissistic whore who "married down" to a man with zero dollars in his bank account, I was informed that "a woman (can be so desperate she) would marry a ham sandwich."

I find these comments hilarious, and it's not just because I'm a pork fanatic. My husband is... quite frankly the best thing that ever happened to me. (There are some tears rolling now.) I don't really even know where to begin. I'm sure everyone realizes that I must really love the man to have uprooted my life and left everything I've ever known to move to his country but I don't think I've ever really, truly touched on this. The ignorant, presumptuous comments coupled with a conversation I had with my mother a few days ago have inspired this post. And so, without further ado... here are 25 things I love about my husband.

1. When I am really, really pissed at him to the point that I am ignoring him entirely, he glances at me from across the room with this stupid grin on his face. That stupid grin, in that stupid angry moment, always (and I mean always) causes me to burst out laughing, to the point that I forget why I was mad in the first place.

2. When the handy man was supposed to come fix the swamp cooler 3 days ago, my husband says, "Forget that guy," and gets up on the roof (of a 2nd story house with no extension ladder) and fixes it himself.

3. He saved me. When I say 'saved,' I mean he literally scraped my pathetic, emotional remains off of the concrete and reminded me what life was really all about.

4. He makes the best corn tortillas from scratch and doesn't even use a press.

5. He was born and raised in a country full of machismo yet never complains when he mops the floor or does the laundry.

6. I've gained almost an entire person's worth of weight since we met and when I show him my skinny jeans that I wish I could wear he looks genuinely confused and asks if those are my sister's pants.

7. When I drink too much and end up doing Bill Cosby impersonations he is annoyed, but I can tell that if he knew who Bill Cosby was he would be laughing his ass off.

8. He is just like my dad.

9. He is just like my step-dad.

10. He makes the best bean, egg, jalapeno and onion guisado on the planet.

11. He cries every time he watches "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition".

12. He has more love, appreciation and patriotism for the United States of America than I do, and he isn't even allowed to go there.

13. Due to the quality of the Mexican public school system he had a seriously questionable education. Yet instead of being bitter and pretending he knew what he was talking about, he put his pride aside and let his wife teach him long division and basic geography when he was 26-years-old.

14. After over 6 years together, we can still stay up all night talking about nothing.

15. When we are down and out, he will take any (morally acceptable) job that can contribute to our family while I see other's spouses who feel too good to work a blue collar, minimum wage paying position, and sacrifice their family's well being for their pride.

16. He can change a tire, replace a fuel pump, lay tile, pour concrete or install an air conditioner with a smile on his face.

17. If he doesn't know how to do something, he just needs to study the situation/components for a bit, and he'll figure it out without utilizing Google or YouTube.

18. He respects, cherishes, and enjoys the true me.

19. He thinks I'm a good cook.

20. He values my opinion and even asks me for it!

21. He shares my love of all types of music and finds the Beatles as epic as Los Huracanes del Norte.

22. When I am losing my mind, being irrational, screaming at the top of my lungs, or crying my eyes out, he just sits there patiently and waits for me to finish with my outburst.

23. He would give me the world if he could but doesn't let our situation make him feel like a failure.

24. You don't have to speak his language to see that he is an amazing person. It can be observed in his body language, his actions and his facial expressions.

25. Each time I see him, I still get excited. There are still butterflies in my stomach and I know I made the right decision. I know every moment and every stuggle is worth it and that nothing can be wrong as long as we are together.


  1. I love it Emily, you've inspired me to go home and do the same thing, just as soon as I finish picking up his surprise shrimp dinner to show him how much I love and respect my ham sandwich too.

  2. This is a fabulous post, Emily!!! I'm so delighted that you and your "manwich" found each other in this crazy world. Sounds like you've got something extremely special between you both.

    And you've got such a good sense of humor -- even when it comes to genuinely "unfunny" things! Thanks for sharing it, along with these snippets of your life, across the wires!

    It was very brave of you to be in that story; thanks for speaking out for us all!

    When people ask what the heck I was thinking when I fell in love with Leo (as if I had a choice) and moved abroad, the only possibly reply is "if I didn't do it, I would regret it forever." What nutty person would let guys like ours "get away" over some pieces of paper?!

  3. Yes, yes, and yes, ArmyMustang!!!

  4. So beautiful! Some people go through life and never get to experience that kind of love. I'm so glad that you found your Manwich! :)

  5. This is awesome and I see a lot of qualities in your relationship with your husband that I see in mine with Odbin, but can never quite explain when people ask me what I see in him. You are great at expressing things that are many times unexplainable. They just are. Thank you so much for sharing. I love my ham sandwich too :) (I think we should all get T-shirts made, lol)

  6. Great post Emily :) My husband cries at Extreme Makeover Home Edition too. So cute!

    I find it incredible how close-minded people are. I had to stop reading the comments on the article, they just make me mad.

  7. If I find a Mexican man sweeps and mops, I'd love him too. Don't worry about the creeps out there who make nasty comments. These kind of people are to be pitied and probably have no one who loves and cherishes them like your lucky husband.

  8. Great post Emily, I have been inspired to write my own list too, gracias! I have to say Javi got pretty emotional over extreme makeover too but he reacts in a way that just makes me laugh every time. Oh and I love the oso.

  9. I love the way you express yourself. I know exactly how you feel. I love my husband with all my heart and still get butterflies just talking to him. I miss him. He is in Juarez waiting for a visa appointment.

  10. You got a keeper Emily!!!...lucky me mine sweeps and mops too, and does laundry too :)